Can I Have The Reasons?

 Since few months after SPM, I realized that I've changed a lot. A damn lot. I've been a sobber. I've been an ego person. I've been a hot-tempered. I know this is all about Faiq. Yeah, there's no other reason. Only him could make me cry so hard. Even its been 11 months and almost a year, I still can't forget what he had done. And the hurt that I feel still bleeding.

To be honest, certainly I can't accept the principle of "everything's happen for reasons" because within 11 months I try to find what the reason for him to hurt me this much. I tried to act happy, I tried to act I am the toughest girl in the world. But at the night when I am all alone, I cried. I'm tired living in this situation.

Now, I tried to lower down my ego and try to trust another guy. But same thing happens. When he gets bored with everything I am sure he will left me like Faiq did. I try to not over-thinking bout it. But seriously, its been in my head for all this while. Since my ego way too high, I have no gut to ask him. Either I am important to him like I feel he's so important to me. The he treats me, I just want him to declare me as someone special for him. But I know it won't happen. Now, can I have the reasons why I can't live happily like others

♥LiyyaS